How to Get Rid of a Hangover
Want to know how to get rid of a hangover? Looking for an easy way out of the pain of overindulging in alcohol? I hate to break it to you, but unless you've learned some Zen secret during the course of your life, there's no one answer to the question of how to get over a hangover.
You should be wary of any instant hangover fix. There are some true freaks of nature out there who know how to get over a hangover instinctively. Their bodies are like finely tuned consumption machines, begging for larger and larger quantities of intoxicating liquors. These people know at the back of their mind that their suffering in the morning is easily chased away with a whiff of wild lavender or the rapid fire consumption of six cheeseburgers. Whatever their trick, it probably won't help you learn how to get rid of a hangover.
Rather than attempt to arm yourself with the ultimate "anti hangover kit" or pour water and aspirin down your throat until you're blue in the face, let's take a deeper look at alcohol intoxication and recovery. Hopefully, once you understand the science behind drinking and drunkenness, you'll discover the great hangover cure we've been waiting on since the first man opened a primitive bottle of champagne with an even more primitive rock and drank the sweet nectar of success.
Where Does The Alcohol Go?
Knowing how to get rid of a hangover requires a little bit of instruction. First of all, you need to know that when a person drinks alcohol, only about 20% of the drink gets absorbed in the stomach. It may feel (the next morning) like your stomach absorbed the brunt of the blow, but in truth around 80% of the ethanol you poisoned yourself with is absorbed by your small intestine. In fact, that big "whoa" of drunkenness hits when the alcohol is absorbed by the intestines, not the stomach, allowing you to feel the moment when your hangover begins.
One or two drinks won't cause the effects below in most people. What you will feel (almost immediately) is still pretty interesting. Central nervous system depression (the same bugaboo responsible for most feelings of intoxication) is the easiest symptom of drunkenness to feel. CNS depression causes loss of control over many of your basic bodily functions, like speech, muscle movement, the use of your sensory organs, and the overproduction of sweat by your sweat glands. If you overdo it on alcohol consumption, the effects on these organ systems will be greater.
Alcohol is a Depressant
Remember that alcohol impairs our CNS functions. Unfortunately for the drunk, these functions are that which (if they were intact) could keep the drunk out of trouble. When your central nervous system isn't working quite right, you'll notice the dulling of pain, loss of balance, slurred speech, and even the kind of blurred vision normally reserved for migraine sufferers. These CNS depression symptoms are also what cops look for in a drunk driver -- these symptoms could lead to you breaking out in handcuffs.
Even scarier is the effect alcohol has on the frontal cortex. This outer layer of your brain is the part most obviously concerned with everyday conscious thoughts. The impact on the frontal cortex is responsible for the old "in vino veritas" moment -- loss of inhibition, dancing on tables, getting in fights, etc. While these won't have an immediate impact on your hangover, many people discover how to deal with a hangover by dealing with the unpleasant circumstances caused by loss of frontal cortex suppression. In other words, the "walk of shame".
What Causes a Hangover?
There are three hangover symptoms that I just can't deal with. The minor aches and pains and the wicked taste in my mouth are easy enough to overcome, but the dehydration, shaky feelings, and extreme hunger and nausea cycles are the painful part. Why do they happen?
Dehydration: Alcohol acts as a diuretic. This means it tells your body to shed water by stopping the production of your body's natural anti-diuretic hormones. Sounds pretty intense, and it is. Any drug that instructs your body to stop producing chemicals is not to be taken lightly.
The shakes: Drinking adds large amounts of a chemical called "glucose" to your system. Glucose is the enemy of insulin, and vice versa, so your body reacts to the glycerin by producing more insulin. Unfortunately, our bodies don't know how to call off the assault of the glucose army. This low glucose level is responsible for the effects on our nervous systems, such as shakes, sweating, dizziness, blurred vision and a general sense of tiredness.
Stomach symptoms: You're either famished or you're having the worst diarrhea of your life. Your body is alternately suffering from alcohol indulgence and craving a serious carb boost.
How to Get Rid of a Hangover
Remember that the inherent toxic nature of alcohol irritates the stomach and the stomach lining which causes gastritis and vomiting. Since you know your stomach is weak, go easy on snacking and do not continue consuming alcohol. While a little "hair of the dog" makes you feel temporarily better, it will only lengthen the hangover symptoms.
Since alcohol also causes inflammation in your esophagus, the little tube that carries food down into your stomach is irritated. This causes heartburn. Your favorite heartburn remedy may be needed, but use these sparingly. The best way to get over the inflammation? Lots of water, bed rest, and very little food until you just can't stand it any more.
The small and large intestines are designed to absorb salt and water from food, but the toxins of alcohol prevent your body from doing this. This is another reason why you have diarrhea and vomiting. Go easy on your intestines. Eat simple food, like bananas, rice, yogurt, and tea. It is really the only way to deal with a hangover.
That's all you need to know about hangovers and hangover prevention. Unfortunately, a top notch neurologist with a medicine cabinet full of expensive prescriptions and drug compounds will still suffer hangovers. There's simply no miraculous method for avoiding a hangover. Learning how to get over a hangover is the easy part -- supply your body with liquids, rest, and a little bit of (nutritious) food and try to sleep it off like the rest of us.